A quick ALS course and a final Goodbye

Daddy's condition has worsened over the past week. He couldn't stay on his feet anymore, he couldn't take a single step. He remained completely limp. I couldn't understand all his words well on the phone. I booked a ticket right away. I had a flight in a few days. His locomotor system was gone, but his breathing was still fine. We thought it was one of the next stages of the disease, so I don't have to rush home.

He didn't want to go to bed for three nights, because he was going to die in that bed, so he "slept" in the cart, next to the bed. Mom heard him say something at night: "Who's in bed?" I see someone lying there and breathing." No one was lying in his bed.....Is it possible that our souls know in advance what will happen to them? Did he see himself in bed?

Mom didn't sleep for three nights because she had to raise his head every now and then. She told him that in order to have the strength to take care of him during the day, she must sleep. He was already sleeping in bed on Wednesday...

On Thursday evening, we called together for almost 3 hours. Even though I didn't want to strain him too much by talking, his presence and looking at him was enough for me. I told him: "I hope you will wait for me so that you don't die without me." I want to hold your hand when you leave." He replied: "We'll see..."

After three hours we said Goodbye as always: "I love you. Sweet Dreams. May the little angels take care of you." He waved at the camera and I wanted to hug him.

My brother called me a little after two in the morning. I knew it was bad. "Daddy died." "What? I don't believe it!" After all, I called him a while ago. The first shock comes and immediately a stone falls from your heart that "he is finally not suffering anymore." You pray for his soul to go to the kingdom of heaven in peace. You book a ticket and at 7 in the morning you are at the airport home. "Home" what is a home without a father? You are no longer a complete family, I will never be able to hug him, kiss him and say I love you.

You are sitting on a plane, you are closer to the sky and you ask in your mind: "Where are you?" Is your soul already in heaven? Or is he still wandering somewhere on Earth?" When I got home, I hugged my mother and cried crocodile tears. And all the pain that you hide all those months behind a smile and giving hope, being positive that everything will be fine. Suddenly the pain will leave you with tears. The soul is cleansed through tears...

He left quietly, in his sleep, as he had wished. To die at home next to his greatest Love, his Angel, my mom. Before he would be connected to devices and tubes, knowing that he would not worry anyone anymore. By his strength of will and faith in God, he left us as he wished. For many months he prayed with the intention: "Let the will of God be done." And the will of God was done! When he understood true Love, God called him to himself.

We went to see my dad at the morgue. I thought there would be more tears. But when I saw him, his calm expression on his face and his little sly smile gave me peace, great peace. I didn't even shed a tear when I saw him. That smile probably indicated: "You see, I told you that you would come to my funeral in May." And the calmness that radiated from his face seemed to say that when the soul left his body it was as if he had experienced something very beautiful, he was satisfied, happy and without pain.

When I was at the airport, I wanted to tell his friend what had happened and to agree whether Mr. Dean could accompany my father on his last journey, because even though they had only seen each other a few times, a "special" bond had developed between them...

I didn't have his number saved in my Spanish phone, so I texted his wife. After arriving, I found a message that she is currently with Mr. Deko in Israel. They had already heard the sad news and the whole bus was praying for dad's soul. And that tomorrow they will have a mass for him in Bethlem. I thought that they wouldn't even make this up in the movie: "You die and your acquaintance and the dean are currently in the Holy Land and they are praying for you..." The dean managed to return from Israel to the funeral home and celebrate a wonderful mass for dad and accompany him on his last journey. Warm thanks also for the beautiful speech to his colleagues, to all those who came to say goodbye to him, and to those who could not participate in person for various reasons, but were with us in mind.

Daddy would surely be very happy to see you all come to say Goodbye. And he would say to you: "I love you and Thank you." JJ